In view of the 2016 US elections, I felt writing a short children's story to congratulate the winner was in order.
I will gladly accept inquiries from illustrators able and willing to partner on this project.
There once was a duck who lived in a tower.
He was not very bright and always looked sour.
He was incredibly rich. He indeed had it all —
A penthouse, servants — yet he still liked to bawl.
“No one knows how to do things!” he would quack in his bed,
although in reality it was all in his head.
“They do everything wrong and only I’m right.
Maybe it’s time that I show them the light.”
But what could he do to rally the people?
Should he write a long book?
Should he shout from a steeple?
“I will become president!” he loudly declared.
“From my seat at the White House I’m sure to be heard!
“And great powers, too, I shall gain
— enough to make things great again!”
He sat in his chair, plotting and scheming,
Thinking of ways of the elections winning.
“I will promise them this and I will promise them that.
I shall kiss all the babies and I shall give out free hats!” [hats reading: MAKE THINGS GREAT AGAIN]
“But above all else, I will make them afraid.
Afraid for their country and for the future ahead.
And then they’ll get angry, and me they shall choose.
What a wonderful plan! There’s no chance I’d lose!”
He entered the race and toured every state.
He preached this and that, he told them to hate.
“If you don’t pick me, things will get awful.
The markets will crash, there will be no more waffles!
Vote for me — vote Crump — and I’ll paint your homes gold!
You will eat six meals a day, you will never get old!”
He tricked and he lied and he fooled the whole nation.
He made them all angry, he used their frustration.
He got all the votes, the presidency he had won,
and he then began preaching on how things should get done.
“Do this like that!
Do that like this!”
He said as he sat,
Sat there in bliss.
But the rest of the nation realized soon
that on the throne they had placed a buffoon.
His ideas got ever more crazy, made no sense at all:
“Make everyone pay us money! Build a coast-to-coast wall!”
Luckily they knew just what to do.
It was time to take action
— it was time for a coup.
The next day to the White House they came.
They told him he’s mad, at his feet they laid blame.
They kicked him outside, they tore down his tower,
They said people like him must never have power.
“Now get out of here, chump!
You’re not really a trump!”
And that was the end of President Crump.